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We have 5 days till we leave for Rio for 2 weeks, and 3 weeks till we leave for the USA.  And I have not packed one thing!  Can we say procrastination?!?!  

Or that I’m just a busy mom, who had some unexpected work come in, that I just had to do.  Or that I am just dreading the good-byes.  

I am feeling all the anxiety with moving and the closer the day gets the more nervous I get.  

I am ready to move in one sense, and on the other hand I am starting to feel very sad.  For the most part, the root of my sadness is about leaving my sweet cat behind.

Billie Jean

I have found her a good home, with a sweet dog friend, but I still feel sad and unsettled about the whole thing.  No one will take care of Billie as I do, especially here in Brazil.  Let’s face it, people here just don’t view animals the same way as we do in the US.  More on that later.  

I know she will be fed everyday, and cared for in a nice way but she will no longer get the cuddles and pats that she receives now.  I wish I could bring her with us, but it’s just not that easy.  With almost 24 hours of traveling, the expenses, and the overall well-being of her.  I just can’t do it.  

I will miss her dearly and dread Friday when I have to say good-bye.  I am not looking forward to it.  

On a happier note, I am looking forward to spending two lovely weeks in Rio with Max’s family.  Getting a little down time, and of course going back to the USA.  I will be back to regular posting as soon as time allows.  

Beijos, Tanya

.. is so wonderfully accepted everywhere and anywhere. 

I have exclusively breast fed Malu from birth.  She has never taken a bottle or pacifier.  And it’s a bond that has truly been amazing for both of us.  Thankfully we have never experienced any big problems throughout this journey. It is something I love and cherish.

With that said, at 1 year and 3 months we are still going strong.  She still breast feeds all the time various times a day.  And at around 10 months we stopped night time feedings.  

Ideally I would like to continue till the age of 2. In the US, they call this extended breastfeeding.  There are wonderful benefits for both mother and child from extended breastfeeding. 

In Brazil I have felt comfortable anywhere, in any situation, breastfeeding.  It is the norm here, at least in my village.  You can breast feed without a nursing cover/blanket in all public places and no one will bat an eye.  

But sadly this is not true for the US.  

I have read various horror stories of mothers being criticized or given a dirty look for breastfeeding in public.  Or worse, being directed to breast feed their child in the bathroom {I mean who wants to eat in the bathroom, I know I sure don’t!}  or thrown out of a public area/transportation.  And the topper, threatened by the police. 

I know this is not true in all parts of the US, but it does exist much more widely than here.  I wont get into my own personal opinions on this topic, because I could go on for days!  Let’s just put it this way, I believe there are some people with some serious hang-ups.  

And now we are heading back to the US.  

And I am still breastfeeding Malu. {whom is a toddler now, which gets even more criticism.}

And thinking about the two of them together gives me anxiety.  

Breastfeeding toddler + USA =  CRITICISM 

I hope I don’t get made to feel uncomfortable feeding my child in a public place.   

I hope I don’t get criticism for such a natural thing.  

I hope I don’t have someone ask me to put a blanket over her.  Because Malu will not go for that!

And I hope I can continue on this journey the same as I have done here.  

I am prepared to stand my ground, shall I have to.  

I am prepared to take the criticism, shall I have to. {But not without a heated discussion}

After all, I know what is best for ME and MY child.  

I will miss a lot of things about Brazil.   

But one thing I will miss the most, is living in my tiny village, and not having judgment passed on me for every little parenting choice I make.  

Any thoughts/opinions or experiences on this?  Please share with us in the comments!  

Beijos, Tanya

Screams of love …. 

Mamãe and Malu

Beijos, Tanya

While I am proud to report I speak Portuguese fluently after living here for 3 years, it hasn’t always been that way.  

It’s been a long road and I am still not perfect in my Portuguese.  I have had many mishaps speaking the language.  One in particular comes to mind, upon first moving here.  

I had been here only a few months.  I will save the extra writing and write this story only in English.  But first let me note an important detail.  In Portuguese the ão sound is a deep nasal sound {like ouw-ng, through the nose}  and it’s a hard one to master for the English speaker.  In the beginning I always had trouble with it and avoided it as much as possible while speaking.

So enter Tanya in the bakery.  {If you already speak Portuguese, or are learning the language, you probably know where I am going with this!} 

At this time I didn’t know the plural word for bread, which is pães.  The singular version being pão.  

I walk up to the counter and ask the young kid, about 16, for 6 hard, french breads. {I wanted the crustier ones, and not the soft ones.} Only when I asked, I asked for 6 hard, french pãos, instead of pães.   Him and his co-workers, 2 other young boys of about 16, started hysterically laughing.  I mean laughing soo hard they couldn’t even continue to help me.  

I was very confused, and going over what I had just said to them in my head.  

“It all sounded right, why are they laughing?”  I had thought to myself. 

“Hmmm .. it must be something I said but who knows now, just give me the fucking bread so I can go on with my day.  I was starting to get agitated.”  

“Ok, I know I am a foreigner and I don’t always pronounce things right, but you know what I am saying.  It can’t be that badly pronounced.”

Bread in hand.  Boys still laughing.  Me annoyed.  Off I go. 

Upon returning home, I tell my husband the story. 

He tells me to repeat to him what I said.  So I do, exactly they way I had said to the boys. 

He starts hysterically laughing.  

“What the fuck?”  At this point I have steam coming out of my ears.  

“What did I say?” I ask him.

“You asked them for 6 hard, french dicks!! ” He replies.

Pão, if not said correctly with the nasal sound, will sound like pau {pow} which is dick. 

Mortified, I vowed to myself never to go back to that bakery and to learn the correct way to say bread in Portuguese.  

My husband then taught me the plural version to say bread.  Which is pães, sounds like pies in English, easy enough I can say that.  

For fear of asking for a dick, from that day forward I never again asked for pão, even if I wanted just one bread.  It was always pães.  

Shortly after this mishap, I made it my mission to master this sound.  And that I did.  A year later I was able to ask for pão correctly, and have since returned to the same bakery.  I think those boys still secretly laugh at me when I come in.  Oh well!

Have you ever had a funny language mishap?  Please do share with us in the comments!

Beijos, Tanya

We went with a few friends.  

Listened to some live music.  Ate some good food.  

Basked in the sun. 

Walked around the huge, lush land.  

And swam in the river.  

At the end of the day it poured rain.  Then the sun peaked through and we got a beautiful rainbow.  

What a wonderful way to end the day.  It was a nice change from the beach.  We will definitely be doing it again soon.  

Beijos, Tanya

But I am annoyed.  

Ok, let me backtrack a bit.  I have a blog for my daughter {kinda like a baby book for her} documenting all of her growth, stories, and photos.  TONS of photos.  I plan to make it into a book for her to have as an adult.  It is a PRIVATE blog, for only friends and family.  I have set it so it wont come up on google, and it has a password.  

Well me being the freethinker I am, allow my ONE year old daughter to romp on the beach and in the house nakey.  As a matter of fact she is naked 99% of the time.  It’s so HOT here and well, it’s probably the only time in life we can run around naked without being judged. {I wish I could join her!} 

Well apparently NOT.

My sister-in-law seems to think different. {yes she looks at Malu’s blog and NO I don’t post photos with her VAG showing, if you were wondering.  But yes, some naked photos.}  

She makes a point to tell my husband EVERY time they talk on the phone that we shouldn’t let Malu run around naked.  That we should at least put undies on her. Her theory is, that it is dangerous.  That she heard a story in school of a girl that had a caterpillar crawl up her bum.  

WTF?!?!  

Ok, I know it can happen. But seriously how often do you think a doctor sees a patient with a caterpillar in their bum?!?  {Danielle, your boyfriend is a going to med school, ask him for us!!}  I mean if it’s about that, a caterpillar could just as well crawl in your ear or nose.  

So then in turn, my husband comes to me and says we should put undies on Malu more often. {and this came after telling me I should spray our whole room down with Raid bug spray, clothes and all, because of some bugs in the room.  Arrrgghh!}

I told him that I think his sister has some serious issues with nakedness and it’s not really about a caterpillar crawling up her bum.  I just think it may be that us in the US are a little more laid back about nakedness in general.  

Which may seem strange coming from a country like Brazil, when you go to the beach and see every woman wearing practically nothing but a string in her bum. But god forbid you should flash a boob, or let your 1 year old run naked, you may get the evil eye.  Or better yet, a scolding from your sister-in-law.  

Arrghhh!!  

What do you think on nakedness?  How were you raised with it in your household?

**{{Yes, I know that in this world lurks perverted people as well, that like to look at children.  That is why my eye never leaves Malu on the beach and in a years time she will be in a bikini.}}**

Beijos, Tanya 

Pssttt .. stay posted for Writer’s Block Wednesday tomorrow.  I have some great photos to show you.  And no, they are NOT naked ones!

Praia do Madeiro has always been my favorite beach.  Beautiful, big, and one of the less crowded beaches {in terms of vendors}.  It’s also the best beach for laid back surfing, meaning the waves are forgiving and quite chill.  The best beach to learn surfing, if you ask me.  

Three years ago when I arrived it had one main restaurant with a hotel at the top of the cliff, a few barracas selling drinks etc, and one other small restaurant and two surf schools and that was IT.  It was wonderful because you could go and lay in the sand with your sarong on the end of the beach, and not be bothered by numerous people trying to sell their goods.  You also had that choice to lay in the sand and not spend R$20,00 on a beach chair for the day.  I mean really, people that live here don’t have R$20,00 a day to spend on a beach chair rental!!  

But it seems in the last year it has exploded with people.  People coming to the beach and setting up shop to sell their goods and rent their chairs.  Leaving no room for others to lay in peace without renting a chair.  It really started to look like a mini-favela {slum}on the beach.  It was quite unsettling to me and many others whom live here.  It was getting to the point where I didn’t even enjoy going to that beach anymore.  

So, they put a stop to it.  They came in and destroyed all the barracas. As reported on Pipa Tevê  blog {I will translate here}

The barracas were knocked down by Police and Environmental officials, claiming irregular work{people without permits}. People that arrived to the beach this Thursday and today came across this scene:  coolers with frozen items, frying pans, freezers, and cut up pieces of tents strewn across the ground.  

Gradually people climbed the stairs leading to the beach with what could still be used, the only work that remains.

Angry with everything that was happening, officials and owners have seen years of dedication to be destroyed within hours. Neither the oldest and most famous Bar do Jegue remained standing.The owner fell ill and had to leave the site. Some people have complained of violence that has been addressed.

Last Monday vendors were informed that the withdrawal would be made within forty-eight hours, a deadline set by justice. The vendors have always argued the authorization to practice in this place, since the previous administrations, some that were here for eight years.

A Surfing school was also taken down. This is one of the main activities and the great attractions of the beach, that always has a surfer gliding on the waves. The teacher always wanted to get a permit for the school with the current management of the municipality, but even without this, and after all that happened, it will remain working.

In total there were fifteen barracas. Some very traditional and well known in the region. A portion was overturned yesterday afternoon and another this morning. Now the unemployed workers plead for justice.

source: go here for original post and videos{in portuguese only} and photos of the mess 

 In Brazil, they have local laws and permits that people must get in order to set up a barraca on the beach and sell goods.  Of course no one abides by this, and after a period of time they just send in the Environment Police to take order.  I have no doubt that within a month’s time people will start setting up shop again.  As I have seen before on other beaches here.  But it really is sad.  They take over the whole beach.  I have no problem with a few, but 15, come on .. its TOO MUCH!!  

I know what you may be thinking, that I am heartless and not considering the families that are trying to make a living here.  But I see it from a different point of view.  In Pipa, we are lucky.  There are NOT a lack of jobs.  There are a TON of jobs.  For all types of people, even those who may be uneducated.  We are a huge tourist destination, with a large year round international community.  So there are jobs to be had, that pay the normal monthly salary.  I think that people do this because it’s easier.  From what I have seen in Pipa, people are lazy here.  They don’t want to work all day, nor do they want to have set hours.  They want to do as they please.  Come and go as they please.  So I guess that is the risk they take with setting up shop on the beach, potentially losing all of their stuff.  Meh.  It seems like a bit much for me.  I don’t know that I would risk that.  What do you think?  Am I not seeing another perspective?  Am I heartless for thinking this?  I would love to hear others opinions.  

I was searching through the 1,000′s of photos I have, to find a good shot of what Madeiro USE to look like, and for some reason all I could find was ocean shots!!  So I will work on getting more photos for you.  But for now, I will end with one of Malu on Madeiro, you can see just how beautiful the beach really is.  Ohh… and Maluzita too  

We then started to do a bit of research about getting his visa to the USA.  Of course, I had already applied for my visa here in Brazil but I will save that story for another time. We found many sites and community forums {which I will list below}  From there and based upon what we read, we thought it would be wise to start the process right away, as it would take a good bit of time.  {we never thought it would take 2 years though}  

First let me note a few things {to my knowledge} on filing for an Immigrant Visa to the USA.  You need to be married {here in Brazil is fine} first, or engaged.  If you are engaged you need to file for a fiance visa and marry within 6 months of arriving in the USA.  You {the US citizen} can either file your petition here {for your spouse} at the US Consulate {I believe the Consulate in Rio is the only one that deals with Immigrant Visas}  or print out the petition online from the US Immigration website {listed below}  and mail it to the USA and file from the USA.  Or you can go to the US {like I did}  hire a lawyer, like a did {stupid move, more on that later} and file from there.  From what I heard from others, it’s faster if you file through the US Consulate here in Brazil, but I wouldn’t know anything about that personally, as we did not go that route.  

Back to the process.  So after we married in July and did research, in August we went online and printed the CR1 Immigrant Visa application and filled it out.  We got all our required documents together.  If I can remember correctly that included our marriage certificate from Brazil {translated into English.  Remember all documents must be translated into English by an official, notarized translator before submitting documents.  You must submit the original document and translated document.  This part gets pricey.  I think in total we spent around R$600.00-800.00 translating documents *gasp*}  Both our birth certificates, our lease from our apartment here in Brazil {as a proof of our union, but you may also use bank statements or official testaments from friends}  and I think that was about it.  I may have missed something, but on the Immigrant visa website, it gives you all the info you need.  I will list it below.  One reason why we chose to file outside of Brazil was for the fact of getting around the “setting up domicile” part when he did get the visa.  As neither of us had jobs in the US and this could get a bit tricky.  You can read all about that on the site as well.  

In September of 2007 I went to NYC alone, took all our paperwork, application, application fees, found a lawyer, and started the process.  In October 2007, the lawyer sent out our application for his green card petition from NYC.  We chose to get a lawyer because I heard that the US Govt.  can be a real pain in the ass with the applications.  So if you check male instead of female on your application, and they catch it, your paperwork gets sent back and the process starts all over again.  We thought it would be wise to have a dumb idiot  professional lawyer, whom deals with this daily to check over all our things before sending out.  She ended up being a nightmare and I ended up doing all the research myself and correcting her work on various occasions.  Not the greatest experience.  Maybe we just picked a bad one, who knows, but it did cost us $2,000.00 for her fee.  *ouch*   If I did it again, I would do it on my own.  There really are so many resources out there to help you along the way.   

In March 2008 we heard from the Visa Center that his petition was approved and we could go ahead and file the second application and pay more fees.  We did this and waited, and waited and waited.  My memory is a bit hazy now on all the exact steps but I know after the second application was filed we waited quite a bit of time. Then in December 2008 we were given the go ahead to file our affidavit of support.  This is required by all immigrants going to the USA.  And usually the spouse is the one to do this, but in our case this is where things got tricky.  In this part you need to show your tax returns for the last 3 years and meet the poverty guidelines.  Showing that you can support your spouse, shall they become unemployed and have no income.  Basically so they wont sit back and collect welfare.  And if they do collect welfare and the government catches them, you are responsible {the sponsor}  to pay back the government.  Well for us it was tricky cause I had been living in Brazil for the last few years and not paying US taxes.  So we had to find a co-sponsor.  Which is allowed.  But because of some family issues, no one in my family could do it, and it took us some time to find someone.  In the end we found a great friend of mine to do it… Thank God!  Thanks Samantha!  So she will be responsible for my husband, so to say, until he becomes a Naturalized US Citizen.  Which after 3 years of marriage, coming up this July .. woo hooo .. we can apply!  Now as in responsible for him, not in the sense if he gets sued or in trouble.  Only in the financial sense shall he not find work.  Of course, it will never come to that but with all the people on welfare in the US, I can understand why they do this.  

In June 2009 we sent off those papers and that was the last and final step before his interview.  It was then approved in August 2009 and his case was finished with the Visa Center in the USA, closed and sent to the US Consulate in Rio.  We heard from the Rio Consulate quite quickly following that.  I think within 1 month and his original interview was scheduled for September 31 2009.  But we contacted the Consulate and changed the day of his interview for a later date, November 27, 2009. {which you can do by the way, and they were very cool about it}  We needed a bit more time to do his medical exam.  As that needs to be done before going to the interview, from a US Consulate appointed doctor, here in Brazil.  That cost us another R$600,00.  Then the flight tickets to Rio and oh yeah we had to pay a fee for the affidavit of support application too, I left that out.  So the whole process cost us about $4,000.00 more or less!!!   

The day of the interview.  We woke up early around 5am{let me remind you we had Malu in tow as well, at nearly a year old} nervous and happy at the same time.  We had to bring all documents, photos, emails and such of our relationship.  Basically proof that we are “legit”.  We also were informed to bring Max’s military ID/form, showing proof of his service or exemption, in his case he was exempt from serving. We arrived at 7:20 {call time was 7:45} to a huge line, filed inside the Consulate, was given a number {hint the earlier you get there the quicker you get out, first come, first serve basis}  and told to take a seat.  A very nice lady then called each number in the waiting room area and went through each person’s paperwork making sure all of it was there and in the correct order.  After that we waited another hour and was called into a little room with a window, to then which another nice lady took all our paperwork, interview letter, etc.  The same paperwork that the previous lady had just checked,  we were then told to sit back in the waiting room.  

Another hour passed and then our number got called. {thank goodness for a big toy area and a few other kids, Malu stayed happily busy the whole time}  We went into the small office with Malu.  Sat down in front of this tall, big black man sitting at a desk.  He was of course American, and very nice!  He didn’t speak one word of English with us. Which I might add, I speak Portuguese fluently and love to speak the language, but it’s VERY weird to speak with a fellow American in Portuguese!!!  I guess there is always a first for everything!  He asked if Max spoke English and if I spoke Portuguese.  He asked us if Malu was our daughter, and said she was beautiful.  He asked us our plans of going to the US, when, what we would do upon arriving {which we have no clue. Well kinda, but not really} and then went on to ask us how we met.  Which is a funny story, that I will share another day.  I know a few are interested in hearing.  And that was IT!!!  He then took Max’s fingerprints and said when we left the office to go to the lady at the SEDEX desk to fill out the address to get his port of entry slip and passport mailed to him.  He also informed us that we had 6 months to go to the US and upon entry to the US, Max’s green card would be sent to the address there.   He didn’t ask to see one photo, email or anything regarding Malu {birth certificate, etc} or our marriage.  I was amazed it went soo smoothly and quickly.  Max was sooo nervous.  We left at around 11:30, paid $R60,00 for the SEDEX and were on our way.  2 weeks later he got his passport with his visa stamped inside and a little yellow, sealed envelope {port of entry} which must be left sealed and in perfect condition for his entry into the US in May.  

On a side note :  his visa is a Permanent Immigrant Visa valid for 10 years.  When we applied for the visa we applied for the CR1 {conditional relative visa} which is for persons married less than 2 years.  Which means after 2 years you have to do more paperwork, file more applications and pay more fees.  Also another interview to see if you are still married.  But since the process took so long, and at the time of the interview we had been married for 2 years he will get the IR1 visa {immediate relative visa}  which means no more paperwork, fees, or applications unless he decides to become a citizen!!!! WOO HOO!!  Which he will in July.  But I have heard it’s quite easy, that we have already done the hardest part. Let’s see.  I will be sure to write about it when we do start that process.  And take notes, so this time its clearer in my head!!  

HELPFUL LINKS 

US Government Immigration Site  {tons of helpful info, all downloadable applications and forms you will need to start the process, list of all fees, as well as step by step instructions on how to file.  Also helpful numbers and sites to check out.}  

A few community forums with TONS of helpful info from others going through the same process.  I went to these forums various times throughout our process from little questions or to just read others experiences.  I found more info here than what my lawyer provided us.  I believe some of these are world wide, so if you are not from the US but going through an immigration process somewhere else, you may also find info on these sites.  

Visajourney

Immigration forums

Immihelp

Family based Immigration

I hope this info helps someone, somewhere out there.  I know Danielle wanted to know about some of this info.  She also asked me if she plans to move to the US with her hubby/boyfriend in 2013, when should she file?  Danielle if i were you I would start in about a year.  Give yourself at least 2 years time.  But its never to early to look at the documents you need, start organizing them now, and translating stuff. Its a LOT of friggin paperwork!!!!  

Good Luck to all who endeavor this journey.  It’s a long one, but rewarding in the end! 

If you have any questions, please feel free to email me or comment away! 

***** In no way am I a lawyer, this was written from my experience to help others.  I am not trying to give legal advice, and if you aren’t sure about something you should seek professional advice.  Although I can’t say from experience it worked for me.*****

Beijos, Tanya

Well I am back .. with B-A-N-A-N-A-S  !!!! 

My friend and neighbor Laura, has about 5 banana trees in her yard.  In the past month all the banana stalks were ready at the same time.  

You can only imagine how many bananas that leaves us to eat up or use for cooking.   

HUNDREDS!!! 

So me being me, started cooking away.  I made banana bread with cashews, froze some for smoothies, ate some, used some in oatmeal, made banana pancakes, ate more, and then got fancy and made a banana cream pie. 

All I gotta say is .. YUMMMM !!  

It was delicious.

And since bananas are soo cheap here, I thought I would share this one with you to impress your friends  

Banana Cream Pie Recipe:

Ingredients: 

• 3/4 cup white sugar
• 3 tablespoons of cornstarch { maizena, amido de milho}
• 1/4 teaspoon salt
• 2 cups milk
• 3 egg yolks, beaten
• 2 tablespoons butter
• 1 1/4 teaspoons vanilla extract {aroma de baunilha}
• 1 (9 inch) pie crust, baked {i made my own, recipe to follow beneath} 
• 4 bananas, sliced

Directions:

• In a saucepan, combine the sugar, cornstarch, and salt. Add milk in gradually while stirring gently. Cook over medium heat, stirring constantly, until the mixture is bubbly. Keep stirring and cook for about 2 more minutes, and then remove from the burner.
• Stir a small quantity of the hot mixture into the beaten egg yolks, and immediately add egg yolk mixture to the rest of the hot mixture. Cook for 2 more minutes; remember to keep stirring. Remove the mixture from the stove, and add butter and vanilla. Stir until the whole thing has a smooth consistency.
• Slice bananas into the cooled baked pastry shell. Top with pudding mixture.
• Cool by an open window for 45 mins or so. 
• Chill in fridge for at least 3 hours, the longer the better.  If you can do it overnight, I highly recommend it.  
• I topped with whipped topping  {In Brazil you can purchase Chantilly Cream in a box, its basically their version of Cool Whip.  Its great.  You can either purchase it in a large box, or small.  Its a bit pricey, a large box is about R$10,00 and small being about R$4,00.  I bought the large to be sure I had enough, but a small one would’ve worked.  You can find this in the baking section of the store, on the shelf.  Upon returning home you must put it in the fridge for 8 hours or you can do it like me and put it in the freezer for 2-3 hours and then it will be ready to use.  Throw it into the blender, blend until thick and creamy, and smooth on top of your pie!}  

Chantilly Cream for topping

Directions for pie crust :

Ingredients: 

1 small package of Maziena cookies crumbled {shortbread cookies, you can either do vanilla or chocolate, I used vanilla}  

6 tablespoons of Butter melted 

1.5 teaspoon of Cinnamon {canela} 

Crumble your cookies first { I do this in a blender for a few secs.} Mix all ingredients in a bowl.  Then press into a pan or pyrex dish and bake on 200 Celsius for about 5-7 mins.  

On a side note:  this would be really nice with some melted chocolate drizzled inside the pie shell. I think I will do that next time  

Banana Cream Pie

*** Yeah I know the pie looks a bit messy in the pic, but well I was so anxious to eat it and didn’t chill it in the fridge for soo long, hence the fact it’s falling apart  But it didn’t affect the taste ONE BIT !! ***